Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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