i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
