Yo dont text me then not text me
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
