There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
