It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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