u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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