recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
