dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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