Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
