u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
