My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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