I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
