Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
