I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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