It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
