I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
