he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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