Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
