I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
