Where did you get a picture of my penis
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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