I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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