Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
