8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she smelled like a LAN party
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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