The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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