dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
