Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
