he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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