hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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