yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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