try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
