How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
