He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
