Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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