Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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