It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
