Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
