your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
