No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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