I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize