you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
