the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize