Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
