I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't turn off my feet"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
