"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
