I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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