nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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