I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
