everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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