Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Randomize
