how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
