Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
