I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
