hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
