How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
