You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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