You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
