Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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