i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
