I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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