i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
