I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
