oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the condom got lost in my hair
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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