I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
