Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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