this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
