i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
