Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize