ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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