Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
