Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
