Me too!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
