That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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