can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
MIDGETS
????
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
